The Immortality in my Mortal Vessel

Self Discovery (Part II) by Abatta Adeola

Yes, my heart is at rest; Because I’ve come to the knowledge of myself.

The master said, “if a man purges himself from all sins, he shall be useful to the master of the house. “He has washed my sins away. Now I know, I’m no longer a slave.

He taught me to maintain my vessel with honour. The Master chose me, called me a chosen generation and his peculiar treasure.

This treasure, I’ll firmly hold. As His vessel, he told me to be holy.

His word says, “For I will show him how great the things he must suffer for my name’s sake. “Now I’m enlightened because I am God’s chosen vessel.

He is the immortality in my mortality, the treasure in my vessel, and the life in my death.I have found myself in the Word. Oh! I am satisfied because I know who I am.

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The Immortality in my Mortal Vessel

. . .The quest (Part I) by Abatta Adeola

In the quest of finding myself, I inquired, but my heart was void of satisfaction. Now, I throw you the question: Am I who I think I am? Am I the prophet sent to save people?

Tell me now, I plead. Suffer me not for too long! Am I the earthen vessel with embedded treasure, chosen by God to suffer in his name?

Tell me, is it true, that a vessel shouldn’t touch an unclean thing? Do I still possess the treasure that lies within?

Please, am I the treasured one? Has God truly set me apart as his peculiar treasure?

And even if I err and spoil my vessel with filth, Will I still be a vessel unto honor?

My heart yearns for insight, I want to know more. Will this quest grant my heart the long-awaited answers?

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The Undeniable Progressive Deterioration of Nigeria

Our eyes are Opened while our Mother Land is gradually dying. God help Nigeria and God Bless Nigeria

Our eyes are Opened while our Mother Land is gradually dying.

God help Nigeria and God Bless Nigeria

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On The Stairs of Healing (1). . .

BY PATIENCE BROWN

On the Stairs of Healing (1). . .

Pain, I’ve always been averse to it.
I could go to great extents to avoid pain: turn my back on the people who say they love me; refuse their help; ignore their kindness; anything it took to avoid pain, I could do.

Pain, I’ve always avoided it.
‘To not be hurt, draw no one close’, that was the creed.
‘If you don’t expect anything from anyone, they can’t disappoint you’, that was the principle.
‘Nobody owes you anything’, that was the rule.
‘It you don’t want your heart broken, keep it to yourself’, that was the law of life.

I lived avoiding pain. I lived avoiding true relationships. I lived alone.
Oh, you’d never catch me neglecting anyone,
You’d never catch me not doing my very best for another,
You’d never catch me not being an epitome of goodness. . .
But you’d never catch me expecting love from anyone.
Never would you catch me expecting care from another.

No, my problems were my problems until I could solve them.
People have enough issues of their own, why should I compound them?
I ought to be a strong rock for another, I must never be the weak one.

I had to be strong for myself. I had to be strong for others.
That’s all.
No one needed to be strong for me.
First, you would never even know I needed your help, support, comfort or strength.
I was my own blend of perfectly self-sufficient

I had friends. Don’t get me wrong. I had friends. I just didn’t know how to let them through the door of my heart.
Oh I could do anything for my friends, I just didn’t know how to let them do anything for me.
Acts of kindness were a shock to me. And I avoided putting anyone in the uncomfortable position of thinking they owed me anything.

For long, for too long, I sat in a strong tower made of walls of fear, and the expectation of disappointment.
For very long, I sat in darkness. Totally incapable of enjoying human companionship.
Totally oblivious of how to process negative emotions, I just pretended I never had them. Or I’d just rationalize them away.

I never got angry.
You’d have to be someone important to offend me. And no one had the right to be that important!
Why should you have the right to offend me?
It would mean I was expecting proper behaviour from you. . .
And I never expected such from anyone.

I didn’t expect anything to last in my life. People were bound to leave or not care. Why get attached to any?
While you’re here, I’ll do my best for you
But were you to leave, it wouldn’t make a difference. It wouldn’t matter.

I had a zone to which everyone in my life belonged, the ‘They’re bound to disappoint you’ zone. So I never got my hopes up’

If you came late to an appointment, I wouldn’t be the least offended. Why? I wasn’t expecting any different from you.
I cushioned myself against the pain of disappointment by expecting nothing.

If you didn’t show up at all, it didn’t hurt. I wasn’t expecting you to keep your word anyway.
Right in the middle of your making a promise, I had an excuse ready for you.
So if you failed to keep that promise, I didn’t even require your apology,
No need. I never expected you to keep it.

When people did kind things to me, I would be grateful. And I would express it
When people didn’t do kind things, I never noticed. Truly, I cannot point to moments when I felt ill treated. It would mean I was expecting some better treatment. I had no such expectations.

Now that I think about it, I hardly noticed anything. You’d have to call my attention to something happening right in front of me.
This one amazes me still.
Either I was totally submerged in the serenity of my company or I considered human company too troublesome to pay attention to.
I was always oblivious!
Like I said, it amazes me still.

I do not know if anyone has ever succeeded in disappointing me.
Truly, you cannot disappoint someone who wasn’t expecting anything from you.

Lone ranger, I was.
I met my needs. Never desiring what I couldn’t afford. Never bothering anyone.
I was my own self-sufficient blend of perfect.
Always smiling. Always willing to help. Just not knowing how to be vulnerable to anyone. Not even to God

You didn’t stand a chance of hurting me.
I kept that wall in place- ‘Don’t bring anyone close, they’ll hurt you’

But that wall also kept out the other side of the coin. Well, people either hurt you or stay true to you.
By keeping out the pain of close relationships, I also kept out the joy of companionship

Ah! I’ve been alone too long! I’ll let people in. They may hurt me. But then they may not.
They may disappoint me, but then, what if they don’t?
I will expect good from people. They may let me down, but then they may not.

I’ve been conditioned by fear for far too long! I’ve sat in darkness for far too long!
I’ll take the risk. I’ll take the risk of friendships.
I’ll be vulnerable to this few people who say they love me. They’ve been stubborn enough to persist through my subtle toxicity.
I’ll walk into their embrace. I’ll open up and let them see all I have bottled inside.
I’ll honestly answer their questions. I’ll show them my fears. I’ll show them my scars. I’ll show them my imperfections. I’ll be vulnerable. I’ll tell them where I’m from. I’ll tell them how much I hate it. I’ll tell them how helpless and overwhelmed I sometimes feel.

At times, many times, I get tempted to run. To run to that my safe refuge. I get tempted to keep these few people at a distance; to make them powerless in hurting me.
But that would render them powerless in loving me too.
That would keep me in these conditioned walls of fear forever!

No! I’ll endure the pain of my healing.
If I must grow, I must endure the pain of change.

I’m not new to pain. . .
But this time around, it’ll be pain in the right direction.
I’ll endure the discomfort that healing demands.
I want to be healed. To live and love. To be a friend and have friends. I’ll learn; learn to be vulnerable to these people who though I have pushed away refuse to leave.
I’ll give hope a chance.

Am I afraid?
Yes.
But that’s normal.
Where there will be growth, there must be change, and change demands the overcoming of fear.

I am afraid. But I want to be healed, much more than I want to avoid pain.

I’m learning to embrace pain, to endure the discomfort of the change that must grow me. I’m learning to walk the Stairs of Healing.

And when I say I’m learning, it is from the Holy Spirit. My very own psychologist.
He’s guiding me to live, truly live in the Land of the Living.
Having lost trust in my own strong tower, I put my trust in the Lord.
“The Lord is my refuge in whom I put my trust. How can you say to me, ‘Flee like a bird to your mountain'” – Psalms 16:1

  • P. M BROWN
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What you do defines you

By Tobiwhite

What you do defines who you are and what you get out of life

We’ve all got that friend – the one who is always talking big, like they’re going to start this amazing new company, write an inspiring novel or change the world. In fact we probably have more than one friend we hear constantly talking about big future plans.

The problem I have noticed with not all, but many of my peers, is follow-through. Ideas are everywhere, but motivation is seemingly nonexistent. Life doesn’t start tomorrow, life is happening right now. Successful people know this and are focused on achieving their dreams and goals 24/7. It’s more than an obsession and a passion, it’s what they are living. Instead of talking, they’re doing.

Does what you’re doing at your day job support your overall life goals?

Are you equally excited for personal projects as your projects at work?

Do you actually have any personal projects?

Do you have a passion?

Are you refining/advancing your skills and knowledge of something daily?

Do you know exactly what you want in life?

These are all big questions. But I guarantee you successful, motivated and passionate people not only answered yes to all of them instantly, but they even knew the what and why as well without much thought. If you didn’t answer yes to all of these, it may be the day to rethink your life.

I know exactly what I want out of life and the ways I plan to achieve it. In fact, I’ve known for years. One of my peers told me, that “I’m lucky to have found something I’m passionate about.” I disagree with that. I’m not “lucky” to have found it at all, it was a combination of my unquenchable thirst for knowledge, my desire to pursue independent learning and the fact that I can’t stop reading and consuming information.

If you haven’t found it yet, that incredible spark and excitement for life, here’s the reality: it isn’t just going to randomly happen or fall into your lap. It isn’t the result of lots of money, nor is it the result of chance and circumstance.

It is the result of freeing yourself mentally and engaging your intellect. It is the result of breaking away from your peers and delving deeply into a niche. It is the result of focus, determination and motivation. It is the result of an internal drive that is unstoppable.

How do you find a passion? There’s so many engaging, interesting and ultimately fulfilling things to spend your free time (and your work time) doing. The question is how can you not find a passion?

Once you’ve found it, it’s amazing and indescribable – no one can sway your thoughts and your concentration. When you know exactly what you want in life and what really drives you, you’ll never again be bored, tired or unfulfilled. Seemingly boundless inspiration and motivation will be brought forward.

Friends have called me “because they are bored” and I never understood it. I’m not sure how it is possible to be bored, life itself presents infinite challenges and mysteries, but only finite amount of time to explore them. That’s why having a focus is vital – we’re all only given X amount of time to accomplish what we set forth, and you certainly cannot do everything.

People who spend their free time engaged in a passion are happier, more creative and more dynamic in their personality than those who merely spend their time as consumers of vapid entertainment pop-culture. Getting sucked into that is a waste of life and (in my opinion) leaves smart people unfulfilled. It’s essentially fast food for your brain – small amounts once in awhile are fine, but I can’t understand how people live off of it.

Do you come home from work and simply fall down in front of the TV where you spend your time until you sleep? If the answer is yes, perhaps you should consider living life yourself instead of by proxy. You’re going to wake up one day regretting how you spent your limited time in existence. A human lifespan is but a cosmic blink when you consider the age of the Earth, our galaxy and the universe. It’s precious, it’s rare and it is happening right now. To waste it is to give up the ultimate gift.

I feel like most of you reading here understand this, and if you do this post was not for you. It’s for everyone who is living life by proxy and for those of you who haven’t yet found a passion and embraced your true, creative self. It is not too late, you can do it. Start today…

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Lost in my own illusion. . .

By PATIENCE BROWN

Lost in my own illusion. . .

Social media makes us all into artists.
We can paint whatever picture we want others to see. We can create illusions and have people believe. It’s all too easy.

But we can also believe our own illusion.
Tell a lie long enough and you will believe it .

If I were to pull you out of the admiration of social media, would you know who you are?
Would you fairly evaluate your growth? Would you say you’ve truly been making progress?
Without a comment on that latest picture you took, do you like the picture? Does it truly represent your reality?

Without the validation from others- who hardly see beyond the pictures you craft for them- do you like who you see in the mirror?
Does your reality uphold your Instagram story?
See if you can recognise your own lies. . .
Could it be you believe them too?!

I put it to you: you may have been living in the art you paint and show to others.
You might want to get away from the illusion and actually live.

You might want to see if the things you do would still hold their appeal if they wouldn’t be applauded by your audience.

Wait, if there was no one to show your life to, would you still want to live?

How would you live?

You’ve been confusing the image you want people to see with who you really are. You’ve been living in your own illusion.
You’ve been playing the role too perfectly. Now you can’t differentiate the actor from the real person.

I think you should get off the stage. . .and find yourself.

  • P. M. Brown
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CAGED

BY ABIGAIL ADEYOSOLA

©️Herbih❣️

CAGED

Days passing
Restricted movement
Not growing any younger
Life in one state

No one to care
No help rendered
Left all alone
Ruminating on thoughts

Crying all day long
Blurred vision gained
In a dark and weird place
Cosy to the call

Banned from the outside world
Locked in self imaginations
Reasons unknown
Moaning in pains.

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DBKnitwears is a knitting business that involves in making one look outstanding in the kind of wears they choose. Some of the wears are gowns, cardigans, headwarmers, iro and Buba, camisole, trouser, polo, etc. All wears are fully knitted and can be delivered anywhere within and outside Lagos. All you have to do is chat us up or call on 08166898677 / 08166003916. Your Satisfaction is Our Priority.
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